Options Seller Lifestyle: Dealing With Grief

Death is a part of life.

We all have to deal with it, some sooner than others.

But it is never easy.

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May 4th, 2014 : Sunday night.

My sister had called my wife multiple times already today. That was normal since they were best friends and business partners.

But today, they wanted us to eat dinner with them. We had some stuff to take care of so my wife tried to get out of it, but my brother-in-law insisted.

So we met them, their kids, and another family at Smashburger. Afterwards, I suggested we get frozen yogurt.

Everything was great. Everyone seemed happy. My sister and brother-in-law even buckled up both my kids in their car seats.

That was the last time we would see them alive.

The next morning we got a call from my sister’s neighbor (she also worked for my wife) saying that the cops were in their backyard.

My wife tried calling, but no answer.

I hurried over and the scene was crazy.

The whole street was blocked off by police. Every local news channel had their trucks and reporters there.

When I told the police who I was, they pulled me aside for a statement and let me know the horrible news.

That morning, around 6 a.m. my brother-in-law shot my sister, shot both their kids, and then himself.

It turns out that his business was failing and he was drowning in debt. It was only a matter of time before everyone found out about it.

Later we learned that he had been planning it for at least a week.

Guess he was a much better actor than anyone gave him credit for. No one had a clue. Even the night before, I was making plans with him to go to California for a family vacation.

I never got any hint or indication that there was trouble, that he was in stress.

The next few months were the hardest of my life. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t focus, could barely work.

It’s going to be one year next week.

I thought I was over it but a lot of the anxiety and grief is returning. For a while I was on 3 different anti-depressants.

After all, this was my first experience with the death of someone so close to me.

I still cannot understand it.

Suicide is never easy to wrap your head around.

But killing your whole family? He shot his 12 year old son 4 times at point blank range.

*****

So what’s this have to do this options and options trading?

Nothing really.

Except that I am lucky that I did not have a normal job to report to. I mean, I was a mess emotionally. There is no way I wouldn’t have gotten fired.

But because I’m an options trader, I was able to cut back. To take off on those days that were really bad.

I had the time and ability to handle the funeral preparations, the visiting family, the disposal of the assets, and everything else that goes along with cleaning up after a mess like this.

It’s never easy dealing with grief, but the Option Seller Lifestyle and  allowed me to deal with mine at my own pace, in my own way. I think, in the long run, that will be better for me emotionally.