Podcast – Episode 144 – How to Trade With Your Spouse

Podcast Transcript

Allen: Welcome passive traders to another episode. Today, I have a big announcement. And I have a first for the podcast, which is really interesting. I’m going to tell you the first before we get into the announcement. The first is that for the first time we are having a husband and wife, team, actually, we’re going to find out if they’re a team or not. But they’re both traders. And they’re both doing well. And they’ve been doing it for a while. So I wanted to get their opinion on how trading works in a family how trading works in a relationship, how to not get on each other’s toes. So I have today, Mr. And Mrs. Matt and Margaret Ambrosi. Welcome, guys, thank you for doing this.

Matt: Thanks. Thanks. Thanks for having us.

Allen: Now, the big announcement, we probably should have done it better and differently. But Matt is now full time as an option genius coach. So we are very happy to have Matt on board. And he’s already made a big difference in several people’s lives. He’s getting more, more happy comments, or, you know, people coming together to have a wonderful he’s doing he’s getting more than I am. So I think I got the right person for the job. And if you if you see Matt, or you hear the voice, and it’s kind of familiar, we did do an interview with Matt back in episode 110. So 110, and that he actually gave us a story of how he got started what he was doing. And at that point, his job, his role, or his, his goal of trading was mainly to replace his current income through trading options. So I think he’s, he’s come a long way since then, as a trader, and just emotionally and as a person. So, guys, welcome. And Matt, thank you again, for coming on board the team, it’s been really awesome to work with you and to see you take the reins, and you know, it’s only made the company stronger and better, and our customers are loving it. So they’re really excited.

Matt: I really appreciate that Alan, you know, I couldn’t be more excited. I mean, I have a real passion for this. And it’s a real dream to, to do a job and and really fulfill that passion. So thank you.

Allen: Yep, yeah, I mean, you know, one of my mentors had told me he’s like, you know, in your programs, you should have a lot more interaction with the, with the students. And I’m like, I don’t have time for that. He goes, well, then you need to get a coach, we need to get some other coaches on board. And I’m like, Okay, where do I find these people? They’re like, don’t you have students? I’m like, yeah. You know, but they’re all trying to retire. Like, they’ll try to quit their jobs. He goes, No, I bet you there’s some that are really good at teaching. They’re really love people. And they would be happy to do this on a full time basis, or even like a part time basis, and just help other people. And I was like, huh, and I thought about that about and Matt was like almost one of the first people I thought of and I’m like, Hey, let me give him a call. And I’m sure he came out of the blue for you. And you were shocked.

Matt: So I mean, I really enjoy, I really enjoy helping people at the core of my being. And, you know, I just love seeing the light go off in people’s minds when they see a trade and they see it work out and they see that everything’s a possibility, just like it was for me. So I’m really excited to be part of it.

Allen: Cool. And then Margaret a this question is for you. So he comes, he comes to you and says, Hey, you know, I’ve been working at Costco for I don’t know, what, 1415 years or something. Yeah. And he’s like, he’s like, I just got this other job offer. I’m gonna What do you think? Yeah.

Margaret: There’s a whole story. There’s a whole nother story. When he got that call, because I mean, we were definitely both shocked. But I think what you just said reminded me of what a good coach Matt was before he even worked at Option Genius. Because when we we started at let’s say, when we got married seven years ago, we we were both on the same page about being financially free. And what what does that look like? Matt was definitely more of a researcher in terms of he would read a book, he would, he would give it to me. And so I think we were on, we’ve been on board on the same page, what to do. And then when we found you, and started learning your methods, we both latched on to it. So when you caught him, I think I was just excited because I knew it was something he really wanted to do. I had already seen him in a coaching role with me and his mom and his sister of trying to like the backend stuff, right? The things that are the charts, the systems, getting your platform set up. Those are things that are challenging and takes a lot of time. And so I was like, I think I was super excited. I knew he could do it. I knew it’d be great at it. And so I just thank you for giving him the opportunity because it’s really been wonderful for him to do this thing that he loves anyway. I mean, he was already before he worked for you, in the mornings before he would go to work. Its full time job was studying and learning. And so, yeah, it just was really exciting. Thank you for that. I guess we had the trust, right. The trust was already there. So.

Allen: Okay. Yeah, now he’s doing wonderful. And, you know, he’s gonna be trading at the hedge fund as well when that happened. So that’s going to be exciting. So a whole new level. So awesome. Cool. All right. So let’s get into you guys. All right, so the trading couple and it’s not just I know for Matt, you know, he’s not just a trading couple. He’s got the whole trading family going on there. He told me that he and his wife and his mom and his sister all get together and have trade night. What is that?

Matt: So it just kind of started, you know, my, my parents live in South Carolina, we’re in Georgia, and my sister is up in Massachusetts. And it was a good way. They were always interested in what I was doing. And they always wanted to learn what I was doing. So it just became natural that I would say, hey, let’s just have a call. And we’ll talk about it. And then I showed them how to, you know, do the platform, and you know, they had all their feelings about whether they’re going to do it correctly. And all the all the fears, just like I had when I started, and I was like, Okay, well, we just started going through it. And we started meeting kind of regularly on Fridays. And it was usually Friday, like, nine 930 in the morning. And we’d meet for about an hour and we talk about it. And then it just kind of progressed and was like okay, let’s do this next Friday, okay, let’s do the next Friday, let’s do the next Friday, next Friday, and then just became we’d call it trade top Fridays. And you know, and then started being like, if we miss one, you know, let’s say my sister couldn’t make it. She’d be upset, like, Oh, I gotta I gotta make it or my mother missed it, she would be upset. So we, we were there every day, you know, and then Margaret would come in here and there and it just kind of evolved. So it was really a really great experience. And then it kept us really connected. I mean, in ways that I wouldn’t think you know..

Margaret: And you get to learn other parts of your family members and their personalities that you didn’t know before.

Allen: Mm hmm. I can imagine. Yeah. I mean, people’s personality comes out when they’re like, frustrated, or when they’re

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You were saying that a little bit earlier that your mom kind of surprised you, you know, going all aggressive on you.

Matt: She still does. I mean, there’s like, I’m just like, you know, she’ll tell us like, Oh, she did something. And then she’ll like, say to my sister, oh, I got out of this trade. She’s like you did? What? How do you get out of that trade? You didn’t tell me about it? And it’s like, yeah, they’re like, they go back and forth. But it’s all in solid, good. You know?

Margaret: Yeah, once she has the parameters, then she, she’ll get a little bit more risky that she said, a differentiated, she told us it’s like she’s at a different age where she feels like she can take a little different risk than we can. Yeah. So it makes it makes a difference.

Matt: That’s interesting. It also goes back and forth. I mean, my sister, she put on a trade, she was getting into a new trade that we’re doing. And then my mother was like, kind of hesitant about getting into it. And my sister just went ahead and did it. And then my mother’s like, Oh, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, like hours later, she she’s like, I’m like, what happened? She’s like, Oh, I put a trade on. Like, because my sister went ahead and did it. So they kind of play off each other. So

Allen: That’s cool. Because normally, it’s the opposite. You know, it’s like, the older you get, the more conservative is like, oh, no, I don’t want to lose that or lose. The younger people take more risk, but over here are flipped. That’s pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. But that I love it, how you’re using something to bond, you know. And it’s so rare nowadays, especially everybody’s spread out across the country. It’s like, oh, yeah, we get together on Thanksgiving. Yeah. Okay. Great. You guys get together every week. That’s I love it. That’s, that’s wonderful. Yeah. I think more families need to find something in common like that. And like trading? Yeah. I mean, because the way we do it, everybody can find their own little niche, you know, yeah. Everybody can be conservative or aggressive or whatever. And yeah, I love it. Cool. So, um, how did you guys get into trading?

Matt: Oh, well, I mean, it was always long term for me. So I was learning about long term investing through reading and then while we actually,

Margaret: Yeah, since you were 29, he started investing. And then we went to one seminar together. And there was a man who was sitting next to us, and he said, uh, you could self manage your portfolio. And we looked at each other and we’re like, never worry, That’s too scary. It’s too risky. We gotta leave that to the professionals. There’s reason that people get paid money to do that. And he made it seem like it was no big deal at all. And I think he was he, yeah, that was a pivotal point. And then after that, We went to a couple other seminars together. And then I think the the really the one that we learned about options was three years ago. And at that one, we I had never even heard the term option. I didn’t know what an option was. We went to go find out about long term investing and how to value stocks in order to know if it’s a good purchase or not. And then at that seminar, we just sat back and because they showed us how to do an option, and and then after that we met found you and he because he was looking for people who did a similar strategy. And then it after we Yeah, so that’s how we got into it.

Matt: Right. And they, they basically started this seminar off with an option. And we’re like, Oh, I thought we were coming here to long term invest. And I didn’t, you know, we didn’t know anything, how options work. We’re trying to figure out how it did right there. And then this guy’s like, Oh, I just made $7,000. And you’re like, show me how you’re just like, whatever you just did, like you have my attention. How did you do that? And I was like, on a, I was possessed to figure it out. I mean, Margaret, she’s smarter than I am. In some ways, yes, definitely. She was like, this is a funnel, like, marketing, marketing funnel and

Margaret: figure it all out. And thanks for just calm down.

Matt: It’s just she sat back, I’ll relax. And I was like, I’m trying to figure it out. And but we progressed. And, you know, it really opened the whole a whole new world, really. And then, you know, we met you.

Margaret: And it’s just a progression to back up to because that’s where we started trading with our family with his mom and sister. So after we learned that strategy, and we were all trading together, that’s where the, the trade top Fridays came from. So that was kind of a cool thing that came from that.

Allen: Okay, so from the beginning, you guys were like, Okay, we’re doing this together. It’s not like, you know, because Margaret, you have your own company. And if anybody wants to know, she does great videography, and photos for real estate agents, and you guys are located where?

Margaret: Just north of Atlanta.

Allen: Just north of Atlanta. So if any realtors are out there.

Margaret: And I’m glad you mentioned that, because honestly, the reason I want to trade is because I am getting older. I’ve been a creative for 20 years, and the old body isn’t getting any younger. So at some point, I will not be able to schlep video gear and photography gear around, and I want to have some home, what gives me the security and knowing that I can bring in my paycheck that I’m accustomed to it on my own. But we definitely talk about our strategies together.

Allen: Right, exactly. So, okay, so But you said like, okay, so he’s working full time you have your business, but you guys still decided, hey, we’re gonna go this road together, we’re gonna learn together, we’re gonna go the seminars together, we’re gonna talk about it. And then do you guys trade in the same account together? Or is it separate? How does that work?

Matt: We kind of did in the beginning. And then we realized that it was best to have separate accounts, we do everything we talk about everything together. It’s just I think that’s really smart. Everyone’s different. But I think for us, it works that we have separate accounts, because it kind of gives you the flexibility for the trading the fit your personality, and everyone’s personalitie’s different, you know, even though we’re married, we’re different personalities. So that reflects in that account, I think.

Margaret: And the cool part is, we both fund each other’s accounts. So when there’s money that we have to put into the account to get it started, we weren’t going at an equal pace, if that makes sense.

Matt: Right. So like, for example, I would get a bonus from Costco, I’d split that bonus, put it into our account separately, she would get a bonus, she would put that money into our accounts, and then we’re trading the strategies under those two accounts.

Allen: Okay, so do you have any joint money like a joint account?

Margaret: Not for not in a brokerage account? No. I mean, we’re, we’re each other’s beneficiaries. But yeah, right. And I think part of that, too, Alan comes from me at I was not married for 36 years, and I am very customed to taking care of myself and producing my own income, and having my own money, you know, just to be quite frank about it. I want to make sure that I can take care of myself if anything ever happened to Matt, but we definitely we know what each other’s logins are. We know what the money’s in there. So that part’s very open. It’s not like they don’t share the information. But I think that’s a good point about having a different trading style because I am a little more aggressive than Matt is, and we learned that we didn’t know that going in, but I will jump into things a little quicker than he does and he wants to be Yeah, wants to have all the information.

Matt: Those are things we learned about it To think that I was not as conservative as I am. But I realized that I’m a very conservative trader. I like to know everything about everything before I jump in, and sometimes that can hinder you, Margaret, she’s like, let’s get to it. Let’s figure it out. And she jumps in. And I’m really admire that part of her. I really do.

Margaret: And as long as it works out,

Matt: she’s I say she’s measured, you know, she doesn’t just jump into things. She’s measured about it.

Allen: Yeah. But like, Margaret, what you said about the, you know, having, I guess, I don’t know, for for a lot of women, it’s a it’s a fear. But it’s also about a sense of security. And a lot of our customers are, you know, are the customers that come to us, and they come in, they’re like, you know, my spouse doesn’t want me trading, or when my spouse would rather have me working, because that paycheck comes in regular. I remember when I first started, even, even though I was, in the beginning, I was horrible. I lost a lot of my wife’s money. But after I got good at it, she still was not comfortable with the trading, because she would be like, Okay, I don’t know, if you’re going to make money every month, you know? Because that’s just the way it is. And so she’s like, Can you do something pleased to have something regular come in? And that’s probably the biggest motivation behind the company option genius. Was that, hey, even if I have a little bit, you know, obviously, I’m supposed to be a small little one person company. And is like, even if I have a little bit like, like a, you know, like, five $6,000 coming in a month. Okay, cool. She’ll know that, you know, because she still wanted to work. So she knows something’s coming in. But that’s, that’s just, I think it’s ingrained in a lot of spouses that are not generating an income on their own that, hey, I need some consistency. So that’s been a big for a lot of people. That’s a big, you know, switch. Like to go from Yeah, my wife my husband makes or my wife makes x dollars per month to Yeah, I don’t know, if he’s gonna make any money.

Margaret: Yeah, I can see how that would be difficult. Because I mean, we’re still both bringing in incomes and trading at the same time. Yeah.

Matt: Yeah, it’s a big shift, a mindset shift. But I think the thing about trading is that, you know, when you’re working a static job, you have that income, like you said, it’s coming in monthly, you can rely on it. But the real benefit of trading, I think, is that you don’t see used to see money as you exchange your paycheck for time. And in trading. You can just, you can just make money, and you don’t have to sit there for that time. No, it’s, you look as money is finite, in your mind, okay? When you look at trading, you work with trading, it’s like, it just opens up to you.

Margaret: It’s more of an energy like it goes out comes and goes out. Exactly. Yeah.

Matt: So I’m trying to say,

Allen: Interesting. That’s a good way to look at it. Yeah. So then have this written down? Okay, I’m gonna ask it or I don’t know if which one of you is a better trader?

Margaret: So how do you define better?

Allen: I guess, who makes the most money?

Matt: I will say that I wrote this in a lot of books. And I believe that to be true as a women’s are much better emotionally, as traders, I believe that I really do because guys are gonna over are like our macho, we just gotta just get in there and do it. And, you know, but in general, I think women are much, much better emotional trading style.

Margaret: I will just say last year, Matt made more money than I did. But this year, I’ve made more money than Matt did. So there you go..

Matt: But I’m built for the long. Nothing short term with me. We actually nickname each other Margaret’s short term, and I’m on long term,

Margaret: Yeah, I like short term, you know, I’m an entrepreneur. So I like to see things happen in a timely fashion. I live and breathe it, you know. And so I had do struggle with the long term stuff. One day, I would be curious to see what it would like be like to do long term put that. We’ll see about that, you know, I like I like the shorter term gains.

Matt: But yeah, I mean, that’s all part of your personality. So we I think we play off each other very well, you know? Yeah.

Allen: Yeah. It seems like you guys have a good balance. So then, like, if there’s a disagreement, then how do you guys handle that? Or is it just, you know, you do whatever you want your account? I’ll do whatever I want to my account.

Margaret: Yeah, well, we talk about what strike prices we’re going to be at, and where, you know, kind of idea of what we both want to do. And then we may be a couple points different from each other.

Matt: Yeah, but we stay within the rules. And I think you know, the great thing about the strategies that you teach and that we’ve learned is that there’s some flexibility in that, okay, as you get better as a trader, it’s just not the rules, right? You know, it’s just not like, Oh, get out here. And that’s it, there’s a little bit of flexibility, I think as you get better as a trader, you get more experienced behind you, you’re able to kind of fudge the lines a little bit, if you will, not in a bad way, but be like, okay, you know, I know this, I have a little more experience, I can become a better trader. So it’s like, that’s the whole flexibility part.

Margaret: Right. And I think, too, just just thinking about how sometimes Matt will stay in a trade longer than me, and I’ll get out quicker. Here’s a good example. So this month, in our oil trading, I have tripled up, I’ve gotten in and gotten out three times, and he stayed in the whole time. You know, and I know, during the classes, there’s a couple of other people in our class, when we’re on the queue that do the same thing. And then some people will sit and so I think it just depends, and I don’t know that it would work as well. For us, if we had one account, I just love having our separate accounts, where we get to talk about what we’re gonna do and then have the freedom to..

Matt: I think the key is that we talk about it. Yeah, I mean, if you don’t talk about things between each other, it’s just not gonna work. Yeah. So you’re like, Okay, you’re gonna go that at least I know about it, right. And then you can see how it works out, right. And then at least you know, what, what’s going on, you know, it’s different, if you just have a count, and you’re just doing your own thing, and you’re not talking about it.

Margaret: The, the emotions part is very real. And I don’t think you can really understand that until you start to become a trader, and you see where the trade is. And you get to know yourself better, where in the beginning, we were a lot quicker to get out of a trade if it went a certain way. And now we’ve learned a little bit more of the rhythms, we know each other’s rhythms. And so we don’t we don’t freak out either way, quite as much.

Matt: But you got to look at it. Like in totality. I mean, nothing’s the end of the world. Right? And with trading, you may lose money, and you probably will, okay, everybody’s lost money. And experience is not cheap. Right? With that happening. It’s, it’s okay, you know, if nothing is, you treat money as, okay, you can be lost, and it can be one. And the whole idea of trading is getting consistent as a whole thing. And it’s like, as you get better and better as a trader, I really believe in my core, you try everyone’s trying to build that consistency. Okay, and you have to match your personality to that consistency

Margaret: Do you also mean make money? Because that’s my goal.

Matt: Yes, consistently, or us to make money. But you need to be consistent to do that.

Allen: So yeah. Well, like I say, In the beginning, it’s not about making money. In the beginning, it’s just about not losing money. So knowing what you do properly. And like, even if you don’t make any money, that’s okay. But you don’t lose it month after month after month. Okay, I know, it’s annoying, but that’s a good thing. And then, you know, we could just do a little tweak here and there, and then then the the profits start taking off. So I totally agree with that. And see, because a lot of people that sell options, they’ll tell you, Oh, yeah, you know, I have great months, and then I have a big loss. And then I have good months and have nobody wants to be on that roller coaster. Because eventually you’re like, man, what am I doing?

Matt: I mean, do you want to go make money in the beginning of the year, at the end of the year, you’ve lost money or just break even? It’s, that’s frustrating, you know? So the whole goal is to, you know, especially what you said in the beginning, it’s very true. Yeah.

Allen: So now you guys said that communication was key. So do you have any rules around that? Do you have like, do you like get together and say, okay, besides the trade trade talk, you know, when you have that, do you actually sit down and be like, alright, half an hour debrief, what do we do this week? How are we going to improve? Or is it just,

Matt: I think I know what you’re gonna go to. I think, I think, for us, and this is just for us, but a big part. And a lot of people think it’s a dirty word. But a budget, we always had a budget always kept us in line, you know, and it’s like, whenever we’ve kind of rapidly spending, you know, and aren’t talking about trading, we’re just talking about life and your budget, it always get us back on the road, so to speak. So that was a big piece of our communication. So it’s just knowing that we’re kind of on the road. So I think that flows into your trading and it flows into your communication. So I think that’s a really big piece.

Margaret: Yeah. And I would say like specific rules about communicating around trading, we’ve never said anything. It’s just kind of happened organically. And we will, you know, there’s there certain parameters that you teach in your class and we get in at a certain time and when we do that, we will talk to each other that day, and then we check it both together, generally in the morning, and we’ll just kind of go Oh, or Yeah, and commit Write together or celebrate together. And then that I think, I guess that’s the organic piece. We just check in with each other in the morning.

Matt: Be like, Fine, quick text during the day, you know? Yeah.

Margaret: Yeah. Because Matt is watching it for his day job. And he’ll text me if something, you know, hey, keep your as open. This is happening or, but yeah, so I guess that’s it like we wake up in the morning. We look at it, we chat about it, and then throughout the day, he’ll text me. Or maybe if I’m doing something, I’ll text him and say, Hey, have you seen? And he always says yes. But yeah, that’s it. Okay,

Allen: Cool. So what happens when one of you wins and the other loses?

Matt: That’s a good question. Well, yeah, I’ve lost before I’ve lost my I lost. I lost before. And oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah

Margaret: Jog my memory. Okay. So I’m going to just tell myself here in the beginning, before we found your class, and I’m not just saying this, because this is true. So it’s just true. We cannot say how much of course we lost $5,000. So $5,000 is, is a lot of work for me. And I, I am the one who had funded it that month, to the account, and Matt lost it. And we we realized then, that that was really tough. That was tough on me, it was tougher on me than it was him. And actually, our trade talk Fridays, were really good, because they had also lost the money. And I had lost a little bit, but not as much. We were all just really disheartened and frustrated. And I think I think I was a little mean was a little mean,

Matt: Slightly slightly. Are you sure you can do this? Well, yeah, feel the weight of that. Right. Yeah. I mean, if you’re not, your wife’s out there, she’s, she’s busting her butt to bring in money, and then you just lose it. It’s a lot of you feel the way that, you know, you gotta really dig deep and be like, okay, emotionally and you know, everything about to have the confidence to keep going, right? And you got to search and really believe in yourself that you can, you know, like I said, it’s not the end of the world, but you have to get through there gonna be times like that. That happened.

Margaret: It made me quit trading for a couple months. Yeah, I got really nervous. And then I said, okay, and then actually, that’s is that that’s about the time we found oil, wasn’t it? Like we found oil sometime after that? It seemed to be a little exactly what you’re talking about earlier, it wasn’t as much of a roller coaster. And that has changed it for me.

Allen: Okay, so was there anything else besides finding that strategy that was able to get you through it? Because like, I mean, emotionally, that’s a it’s a big hit. Right? And did anything change between the way you guys communicated the way you guys traded?

Matt: No, I think Margaret took a little hiatus. I’m the type that I never, I never give up on thanks, I will just take it to the death, you know. I’m like, I just keep going no matter what, just get out of my way. No matter how many hits I take, I just keep going. And I leave it all on the table. So I just I knew I was going to keep going. But again, the key and I don’t be,

Margaret: but you. You did try it a little more conservatively? Didn’t you?

Matt: Sure. Yeah. I mean, you learn your lessons, you get burned out a little bit, you start to kind of, you know, you remember and you’re like, Okay, I don’t want to have those same feelings. But let me cautiously kind of figure it, learn from your mistakes, if you will, you know, and treat a little bit more conservative pay a little more attention. What can I learn from that experience? And I think that changes everything. Of course, you know, the strategies that we do, are a lot better, like I’m able to manage our trades so much better. I think that’s important.

Margaret: I think that’s key. And I think that’s key for me, knowing interesting that we have better management strategy now makes me feel a lot more secure, and a lot less emotional, and more. What’s the word? I’m looking for sure. That Matt and I can both do the trades and not lose that $1,000 chunks anymore.

Matt: More confident? Yeah. And I think I’ve read this before, and I really believe it is that you are your first really job is to become your risk assessor. And then you’re a trader. Yeah. So it’s like it’s really important that you this all we do is assess risk all the time. So I think it’s really important to, to focus on that. And once you get better at assessing risk and managing, just become a better trader, but you just kind of have to go through those things. I mean, when I first started trading, they’re like, Okay, your first loss is your best loss. And I was like, what does that mean? They don’t want to lose you. And like, they said it all the time, like, Oh, your first last year about like, Who is this person? Like, why did he say that to me? I don’t want to lose. But it is true. Like, it teaches you things that you just, you think, you know, you like, oh, yeah, I’m gonna get out of that trade, I know what I’m doing. And then you get burned. Everyone’s got to touch the stove, apparently, at some point, you know, it’s like, Oh, don’t touch the stove. It’s hot. But of course, we gotta go touch it. But that’s just life. I mean, and it’s how you react to those situations, I think. And you don’t you don’t tell yourself that you’re not? How are you going to respond to that? Is very important. You know, in all aspects of life as a trader anything.

Allen: I mean, a lot of people, you could say that, but it’s not as easy when you’re going through it. You know, the first time Oh, first time you do it, it’s like, ah, people behave in all crazy different ways.

Matt: Yeah. Yeah, it’s just, you’re gonna have to, I guess this, the best way is to do the best you can to bring people through that experience. All right, you can tell them that it’s it probably will happen. But how you react to that situation? It’s good to kind of tell your future.

Margaret: We’re model citizens is that?

Allen: Well, I mean, they say that, you know, most divorces are caused because of money issues and problems. Yeah. You know, and a lot of people do not see eye to eye on money. And they don’t talk about it before they get married. They don’t talk about their goals, visions, whatever, or even how to balance it, you know, like, oh, yeah, one is a budget person. One is a non budget, I’m going to spend whatever I can, but it’s like, a lot of people have these issues. And it’s, it’s great to see that you guys are same page, you know, same goal, same like, okay, hey, you guys talked about it ahead of time. Yeah, like, this is our vision. This is the goal. How do we get there, we’ll change you know, like, we’ll go on a different path. And we’ll try and we’ll try this. And like, you guys first started with the passive trading course. Right? It puts in the calls and, and then you say, Okay, let’s graduate to something else. So then you guys added the oil program. And then you guys have been doing that. So you just added to something. Now you guys have even you know, got you got your own Airbnb now. So congratulations on that.

Margaret: Thank you.

Allen: So you’re diversifying? So yeah, you’re trying different things. And nobody says that you can’t right. So you should you should work and in us every strategy available to get to whatever your your dream is. So in that sense, you guys have done a bunch of different things. How do you handle it when you disagree?

Margaret: Like disagree on?

Allen: On the path, disagree on maybe a tray disagree on let’s say, you guys did the Airbnb? Maybe Matt would be like, yeah, no, I don’t want to do that. And I want to put more money into trading account. Because we already know we’re doing well here.

Matt: I hate to disappoint. But I don’t think we disagree on too much. If we do, it’s like, you know, we do. I’m not saying it’s easy enough. I mean, marriage is not easy. But we have their situations, I think it’s important to you just you take a pause. You kind of realize how you’re dealing with it personally, how you’re, what you’re thinking, what you’re you’re feeling, and then you come back to that person and you talk about it.

Margaret: I think to just thinking about our investments so far, we do things that we are confident in our knowledge base around so I’ve had a real estate license for five years. And I shoot real estate and I understand real estate. So when I said Hey, Matt, let’s buy this, Airbnb. He was like, Okay, sounds like a good investment. You’ve done the numbers. I trust you.

Matt: Yeah, I do. I trust that she’s, I’ve seen it, she’s she’s in that field, she does the work. She’s always trying to figure it out. And I, their word really is trust. I trust her that she’s going to do the best she can with it.

Margaret: And I think it’s about Yeah, I think it’s likewise to you, because I trust that he’s, he’s read. If you could say our library of books, it’s literally every book I’ve ever heard of on finance and investing. And multiple copies probably down.

And so I think, I think it all comes back down to we, we because we both feel like we have studied different things. You know, and now Matt learns more about real estate and I, I give him all the credit because I always was interested in retirement and investing but I didn’t know where to get started. And so because he had a knowledge base, he kind of brought me up a little bit faster than if I had then what I was able to do on my own right. So that’s powerful. And then because I already trusted him so much and then we got to go to all the seminars together. It just build that built that foundation and so now we really don’t disagree on

Matt: I think part of also is like, I never wanted to push that on Margaret. Yeah, like my interest, right? I have interest in finance. I never wanted to push that it’s an interest of mine. Real estates and interests of her. She doesn’t push that on me. I don’t push that on her. So it was, it becomes organic when you are you, you’re interested in yourself, right? You’re like, okay, you know, Matt’s doing something. I’m interested in that I want to see a little bit more, but it comes from her. It doesn’t come from me telling her Oh, you got to check this out. You should check this out. Yeah, that’s important. But ultimately, it’s gonna be her decision. Right? Yeah,

Margaret: You start to for me, I started doing the numbers. Whoa, you can make this on a trade in two minutes. And I make this on how many? How many hours? Does it take me? Yeah, that’s a no brainer.

Allen: Cool. Okay, so now, so a lot of our customers they’ve been through. And unfortunately, like, they’ve gone on a path similar to yours. But I would say that you guys, you know, if you’ve, if you only started trading, like three years ago, you guys have taken a shorter route than a lot of our customers. Really? Yeah. So they’ve been trading for multiple years, still trying to figure out like, Hey, how can I make this work? How can I become consistent, profitable, I’ve tried, you know, XYZ strategy, and this and this, and this, and they’ve bought cores, and they’ve been videos and seminars, and, and they still are looking for that something, to get them over the hump, to get them to be like, Oh, finally, I’m actually making some money. Finally, like you said, they’re confident that they can, you know, the month is going to start, I have a strategy that works. I’m confident I’ll probably make money this month. But they’re still not there yet. And because of that, because of them, you know, trying and investing in course, investing in Seminar investing in another doohickey. You know, they have all the things you can buy, like, Oh, hey, you know, that you can buy this indicator, and the indicator will tell you exactly when to buy and when to sell is only $3,000. You know, they’re like, Okay, I’m gonna get that, you know, they get it and then they don’t doesn’t work. And then the wife or the other or the husband, either way, the spouse is like, I can’t believe you’re wasting all this time, all this energy, all this money on this trading stuff when he doesn’t frickin work. You know, you’ve been trying for years, and it’s just not working. It’s all a big scam. Right? And that’s the big girl. Yeah, it’s a big scam that nobody can do this. So what advice or tips or anything? Would you suggest for a trader in that position where their spouse is maybe not very receptive to them continuing to trade? Where the spouse is like, you know, can you just give this up? You know, just spend time with me? Just, you know,

Matt: Yeah. I’m gonna let you go first. And I’ll go after.

Margaret: Okay? Because we, we were not in that specific scenario, I just keep going back to it has to be the trust. So how are you going to build trust with your partner, not when they don’t know what you’re going through? And then I would say you would have to have some sort of mentor, and to be honest, that is you that that is you for us. Right? So we I remember, when I got the calculator that you sent out of this is where if you this is what you need in order to make the monthly income that you want on the percentage of money, and this is how much money you need in your account. And you’ve done it, like you’ve gone before us, we know it can be possible. So we’re trusting that what you say is true. And we’ve seen it and especially now that that works for you. So I think finding somebody that you can put that trust into and having if your partner is not going to be in that with you, at least show them who that is that you’re learning from or what they’ve done. And if if it’s if it’s not Alan Sama, then make sure that they’ve got a good record of what they’ve done. So that, that your partner can have trust in that you’re learning from somebody that is credible. You know, the first thing we learned from had learned down the road from somebody who had learned from Warren Buffett, and so, you know, I don’t really care about names of people, that doesn’t impress me, but when you actually know something that impresses me, and that gives me the assurance to bet on myself. And that’s what I would say, would be my advice.

Matt: Yeah, I mean, I always went into investing, especially as I, you know, started to learn about options. I was like, I don’t want to hear about oh, you can make all this money. You can do all this and everything’s going great. I wanted to go and be like, show me how to do it. Right. And then once you show me how to do it, I believe you. And that’s just who I am. And I think most people maybe are like that they want proof and they but more importantly they want to be be able to do it themselves, some people don’t. But if you’re into this and you want to learn, and you have to go into mindset be like, show me how to do it. And then you get the confidence that you can do it yourself, and then you can be able to teach other people.

Allen: Okay, nice. Next question I have here is that you guys have been doing this for a little bit together? Are there anything thinking back that you would do differently? So basically, the question is, like, you know, are there any tips that you would give to a couple starting out? Or lesson or something that you felt? You know what, we didn’t do that? Right? Maybe we should have done it differently?

Margaret: I would. I know that $10,000 was a lot for us, when we bought into your class. It was 100% worth it. And I wish that we would have done that first.

Matt: Yes, I think in this world, you know, you don’t want to believe it, but you really pay for what you get. You know, it’s a hard truth. Lots of people want to be like, oh, I want this for, you know, low money, or I want this, but you got to really look at is it? What’s the worth of it? Right? Is it going to be?

Margaret: And are you willing to do the work?

Matt: Are you willing to do the work? That’s a lot of people like, I think the advice I give people is like the least tell yourself before you think something is not worthy, or it doesn’t go up to your expectations, at least go through and do the work of what has been laid before you. Okay, so you have all these lessons, and you have all everything, but you have to can you really tell yourself that you put on all the work, when you haven’t gone through the class, when you haven’t gone through all the, you know, really dug deep to get everything out of it, then you can say whether you want to continue or not, whether it was a failure, whether it was not at least do that. And I think it’s important for people that start out, set aside a small amount of money, right? And maybe agree that, okay, if you lose this small amount of money, it’s a good idea. Fine, it didn’t work out. But at least you agreed on that. And then give it a shot. Yeah. Right. And then maybe if it didn’t work out, and you want to go further, we examined it at that point. That way, you know, it’s not like a, I lost everything. And it’s the end of the world type scenario. At least I gave it a try. You know, I followed my dreams to figure out this on my own. And if you at least put in the effort, you can tell yourself,

Margaret: I would like to give your wife major kudos. Since you said you lost a lot of money in the beginning. That’s a good woman to keep if she kept supporting you to go forward.

Allen: Yeah, yeah, I’m, I’m very blessed. I am amazingly blessed. So I just give you a short version of the story. I had just been laid off. And so the question was, and we had just been married recently. And so the idea was, Okay, do I go and get another job? Or do I try something else? And, you know, I had been dabbling with trading. But I was like, maybe I could do this full time. So she’s like, Okay, if you think you can do it, go for it. And, of course, I did not have any money. She had money from that she had saved up from working for several years before we got married. So she’s like, you know, I have all this in savings. You know, try it. And so then she got a second job to support us. So because I wasn’t making anything, so she got the second job. And she’s working. She was a nurse. So she was working like three days a week at the at the hospitals, 12 hour shifts. And then on the other day, she would be, they have this thing called home health, where the nurse actually shows up to your house. So she would be driving around town, going from place to place to place, you know, giving injections and IVs and medicines and all that stuff. So very draining, especially with all the traffic and everything. And yeah, and I proceeded to try everything like day trading and futures and forex and commodity options and everything is like nothing was working. And I was down over 40 grand. When I finally actually, I think what turned it around was that she found out because I was hiding it from her. Like I wasn’t telling ya that she came on to check the mail. She checked the statement. She’s like, where’s all the money? Oh, like, oh, yeah, about that. So it was either Yeah, you know, it’s like, okay, either go to go get a job right away. Turn this around. Or, you know, if you don’t do one of those things, we’re probably getting split, right. So I was planning like, I was getting my resume ordered together. And then I found selling options. Like I discovered that Hey, there, there was a trade I did that was actually it worked. And I’m like, Well, what is this? Let me follow up more and then I got into it and I showed her how to do it. She was like, Okay, you have something here. So you’d like you said I did Didn’t I put like all the money aside? You know, I stopped playing with all the money. And I took a small amount. And I’m like, Okay, let me see if I could just do something with this, instead of the big amount. And that gave her pause, like, okay, fine, you know, he’s not gonna lose all the money. And if I lost that money, then yeah, go get another job. And that’s it, end of story. But luckily, I showed her she understood it, it started working. And then you know, then the rest is history from there.

Margaret: I can imagine there’s some pretty real feelings going on around that. That’s

Allen: Very stressful. Yeah, very, very stressful. Because she wanted to know what I was doing. But she didn’t have any background in finance. You know, her family never talked about investing or anything. So she didn’t really know anything about it. Slowly, slowly, I started telling her. And then the funny part is, she would come home, like, and she’d be like, Oh, hey, she got interested, right? And she would come home and she goes, Hey, I checked the news and the markets up today. And I’m like, Yeah, but I’m, you know, I’m in. I’m in calls today. Oh, there she goes, Oh, no, oh, that’s too bad. You know? And then two days later, she’d be like, Oh, look, I checked in the markets down today. I’m like, No. I mean, Puts today. She would like she did, she wouldn’t know if I’m gonna be happy or sad. But she was nuts. But yeah, so and then after a while, then it got good. And like I said, you know, she wanted that stability. She didn’t want that up and down. She’s like, I need something stable income, so I can quit the second job, take okay. And then she was able to quit the first job. And then so it worked out. But yeah, it was a long, hard road. And I did not have the mentor that you mentioned, you know, so that was one of the probably the biggest things that if I could have found somebody that could have just pulled my hand be like, here, this works, just follow this plan.

Margaret: You know, that’s why we got to shortcut it. Yeah.

Allen: But..

Matt: I think that is a hard thing. Because you’re always trying to search for, you know, they’re always there numerous or many mentors out in the world, it’s like, is trying to find who’s true, right? That’s it’s very difficult. And you you have a guard up, everyone’s got their guard up. And they’re always kind of like, is this person trying to take me or, you know, I don’t feel right about this person, I maybe feel right about this person. I mean, just look at FTX. I mean, that guy that was like darling, and crypto. And then they find out he’s, he’s, you know, a Bernie Madoff. So it’s like, it happens over and over again. So that’s kind of how I got into trading. I was like, show me how to do it, and see if it worked, right. And you’re not only a mentor, but you show people how to do it. And then you can build trust in yourself, rather than, you know, of course, a mentor is wonderful. And it will shortcut that process. But you can learn about this stuff. And then you, you make yourself your own mentor in a way, you know, it’s like you just kind of be like, Okay, I have the confidence now. And then you can go on.

Allen: Yeah, I think it all comes down to confidence too. Because like, if I look at it, you know, we have several students that in any strategy that you pick one strategy, and then there’s somebody there that’s been like, Oh, hey, I did you know this much percent? And I’m like, wow, that’s better than me. And there’s another strategy. Oh, I did this much. And I’m like that better than me. And I know that, like, what everybody’s doing better than me what’s going on? You know, but I think that’s part of it is the confidence. There’s like, and this will tell you something about me, like, you know, I came up with the rules, right? So I came up with the test and testing it and failing, and I forgot what they call it. But it’s like, you know, you, you try something and then you fail, and you try and you’re failing, you chaired it. So in my mind, you know, all these rules are made by me. Right? So I was like, I don’t know how much I can, you know, like, really? I’m gonna trust myself. I don’t know. It’s scary. But then somebody else comes and goes, Oh, Allen, you know, he’s the man. He knows what he’s doing. I’m just gonna go 100%. And they do. They do better than me. And I’m like, I don’t get it.

Matt: redo my rules.

Allen: I just need to, I just, like, forget it. I just give you guys my money’s like here.

Matt: But I mean, in all seriousness, as well, I mean, people, they come in these programs, and everyone has so much to add. I mean, that’s how you get better. I mean, there’s people that are just like, oh, yeah, I did this way. And you’re like, Oh, I didn’t think about that. And it’s like, if you’re open to that, and you receive that, then it makes everything better for everybody. And I’ve seen that over and over again, where somebody will just say, Oh, I found this way to do this easier. It’s like it’s constant learning. All of us are constantly learning constantly getting better constantly trying to achieve and go go better. And that’s a wonderful thing.

Allen: Yep. Yeah, we had an hour. Just recently, we in our passive trading group, somebody had put like, Hey, I don’t know how to do this. And I’m pretty sure it’s in it’s in the core somewhere. But then another student was like, oh, here, let me make you a video. And he just made a video. Yeah, this is how I did it. It’s like, Oh, wow. And they asked another Oh, how about this, he made another video. It’s just, you know, everybody’s helping each other because we all have the same goal. And it’s like, Let’s just all work together. And, you know, we’re all on the same path.

Matt: Yeah, it’s like, it’s always true, you surround yourself with the right people, and good things will happen. I mean, it’s just just got to be able to do that,

Allen: you know, it’s like, amazing, we had some really cool students, helpful, you know, just to go out of the way for each other. It’s really, really nice. So then, okay, so my last question for you guys. And I don’t know, maybe you guys like, maybe this is a problem that we’ve seen people have, but I don’t know if you guys are gonna be able to answer it. But how can a trader have their spouse support them in their trading? So like, you know, if, you know, one of you is the trader, or you want to do something, how can you get your spouse to have that confidence in you? That you can do it? Does that make sense? Yeah. Because like, I know, with my wife, in the beginning, she didn’t have any confidence. And then later on, you know, the numbers kind of spoke for themselves. But one of the things I did was when the back testing software came out that we that we use a lot, I showed it to her. And she was like, Oh, cool. I want to learn this, too. So we would sit there, and I gave her the rules. I think we were talking about credit spreads at the time. It’s like, okay, so this is kind of how we find a trade. And I didn’t have like, first set out rules yet. It was just, you know, ideas. I try, sometimes they do this way, that way. And so then I had her and I told her what it was. And we would look at a chart and be like, okay, hey, what do you what’s the trade? And so she would pick her trade? And then, you know, we would we would go through it. And then I had already done it my way, you know, and it would always come out where she was actually more profitable than me. Same trade, same stock, same timeframe, if we had done it her way, we would have made more money. That’s the thing about the confidence. He knows, like, when you see your wife who doesn’t know anything, she just numbers, you know, she doesn’t matter. It’s like, I don’t know, maybe I’m not cut out for this. But then, but then later on, there was a time where I got into like, a, like a rut, you know, so I wasn’t I wasn’t following the rules, the discipline became a problem. Because our trading doesn’t take a lot of time. And so when you’re just, you know, stuck, you don’t have anything else to do, you kind of start over trading, and you’re messing around with stuff. And so I had her, and she came, she’s the one that came up with this. She’s like, you know what, every single trade, you’re going to write it down. And you’re going to tell me, and I’m going to come upstairs at one o’clock every day, I’m going to ask you questions about every single trade, you know, and I forget exactly what they were. But it’s in one of our products. It’s like, you know, what’s the goal? What’s the plan? You’re going to adjust it or you’re going to get out when you’re going to do it? Where’s it now? And why haven’t you done what you’re supposed to do? You know, and so because of that, because I knew she was going to come? Right? I would have everything ready before she came in. So if I had to get out of a trade because it was down or I needed to do an adjustment, it will already be done by the time she got in. And so that degree of holding me accountable. It really I mean the results just went skyrocketing higher. That’s really smart. So that was..

Margaret: something that you said yesterday on our call on our oil call really has stuck with me about every day that you wake up you have a decision to stay in that trade or get out so that’s the day that you’re making a decision. And it’s not Yeah, so that it just hit me this morning because we had the the market was down a little bit this morning. And we talked about it like what what are we going to do so I like that idea of having an accountable

Matt: Well, it’s important because you’re you yourself are going to be emotionally different each day for whatever reason, just as you as an individual that but now you have your wife or someone who was account recording accountable is going to come in and keep you straight. I think what every what everybody needs

Allen: Yep. Either either spouse or buddy or accountability partner or something like that, that you can trade with. Trading buddy, I like that. Cool. Okay. Is there anything else that you guys wanted to share with our audience?

Margaret: Hmm, you can do it. You can absolutely do it. I think if I could have told myself which I had zero knowledge background in how what what was a brokerage? Let’s just start with the simple step. I did not even know the difference between brokerages I did not understand what a brokerage account was. So if I could Tell Margaret, even just five years ago, what I will be doing today, I would not have believed it. And that once you start looking at your money, you know, everybody always says nobody cares about your money more than you do. I think our age group needs this knowledge. Because with the advent of you having to figure out your own retirement and not having pensions, it is extremely important for us to know that and we didn’t have any knowledge that is out there. You know, we didn’t we weren’t 20 and Tiktok. And Instagram rails were out there where you could learn some of this stuff. You know, we’re where we’re younger people already know so much more than I knew when I’m in my 20s. I think there’s a group of us that needs the hope that comes from knowing that you can manage your own money, and you can make money and you can help your retirement, it doesn’t matter if you’re in your 40s.

Matt: No matter really what age you are, I mean, my mother’s 80, right. And if she was, you know, I used to stay at Costco all the time. And I said this many times where they’re, they’re older people that give out samples or they’re in the job. And there, you can see that they’re in pain. They’re standing all day long, and they’re like 70, and 80 years old. And if they just knew if they knew how to do a simple strategy, or trade or just learn it, in which they totally can, yeah, or be shown that and, you know, they can believe in it, that would change their life. And they change their comfort, not later on and be right now. Yeah. Which is so powerful. So it’s really it goes to, that’s what I love about trading, it can help all age groups. Yeah. Right. And you’re right. No one cares about your money more than you do. And I look at like, life’s risky. Everything’s at risk. So you owe it to yourself. You think trading is risky. Give it a shot. Everything’s risky. Yeah. Right. So you got to overcome your fears. See how things work? Believe in yourself. And just go for it. Yeah, because we’re only on here one turn, you know,

Margaret: Why not? Give it a shot?

Allen: Well said Well said, you guys, I really thank you for this. This has been a pleasure. And I really appreciate your time and spending some time and sharing intimate details about your lives and your relationship with us. It’s it’s been a blessing. Thank you so much.

Margaret: Thank you for asking us. Yeah.

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